This year, the prospect of spending Chinese New Year out of the UK and in actual China was both exciting and sad for me. Of course, I didn't want to be away from my family. Like Christmas, this would be the first time I'd ever been away from home for Chinese New Year. But on the other hand, I was also really keen to see how people in China actually celebrate it - see how it might/ might not be different. I'd managed to organise with my Dad to stay with my Aunt (his older sister - so my 大姑) in Shenzhen over Chinese New Year. It was a great compromise as I was still technically spending it with family - albeit family I had only ever met a couple times in my life.
一。Chinese Family Tree
For some background, I actually come from a huge family. My Dad alone has five sisters and two brothers (I think) and my Mum has at least three sisters and two brothers (that I've met). Add to this several cousins on both sides of the family, and even some second cousins, my family tree is quite complex (don't even get me started on the few adopted and step siblings my Mum has). To sum up, I have a huge family, a good portion of which I have never even met before in my life. Whilst the majority of my Mum and Dad's siblings also moved to the UK 30 years ago, I have some relatives dotted around in Canada and China too.
Even more complicated is that in the Chinese language, each member of your family has a specific name according to what position and age they are in relation to your parents. Just take a look at this video on The Complicated Chinese Family Tree to understand. So if I did manage to meet everyone in my family, I'd have a hell of a job trying to remember what term to address them as... This is all just context as over the course of Chinese New Year, I met an entire side of my family for the first time ever, but how I refer to them might get a tad confusing. Please bear with me...
二。First time family meetings
I arrived in Guangzhou after my two weeks in Vietnam and was picked up by my older cousin, son of the Aunt who I organised to stay with. We should also bear in mind that not only was I a little nervous about meeting an entire side of my family I hadn't met before, but the language barrier was still an issue. My family in Southern China speak Cantonese, of which I'm a little familiar with having grown up hearing it. But since coming to China to learn Mandarin, the one thing I've been trying my best to do is 'unlearn' Cantonese so that I don't refer back to it as I learn the more widely used dialect. When my cousin came to pick me up, I suddenly had rack my brain to bring back the broken Cantonese I knew in order to communicate with him. It's safe to say that I can speak a strange and confusing mix of Cantonese, Mandarin and English. It's what I'm going to refer to as full blown 'Chinglish' (why doesn't LinkedIn have that as a language skill option?).
We drove a couple hours out of Guangzhou to make a short visit to an older cousin I had actually known from when I was growing up in the UK. My 表哥 (Older male cousin, my father's other sister's son) had moved back to China quite some years ago so I hadn't seen him in a long while. Luckily his English was decent enough for me to have a conversation with him. The best thing about this short but sweet visit was that I got to meet his 3 year old daughter and adorable new 8 month old son. There was something about the fact that not even any of my family back in the UK had met this little fella that made it all a bit more special.
Meeting adorable new additions to the family
Before we set off to drive a few more hours out of Guangzhou and into Shenzhen where my Aunt lived, my Dad gave my cousins a quick call, insisting I got taken to see my Great Uncle who lived just down the road. It was quite trippy to see how differently they lived. They had an open plan kitchen connected to an open air dining space that spilled out into the main street. In the corner on the back of a parked motor bike was a thatched cage with a chicken casually perched inside. In the distance, I could hear hens clucking away...
I was quickly ushered by my English speaking cousin toward a den at the back of the house where my Great Uncle was gambling with a load of other men. With a quick, "This is Asang's daughter from the UK", a little wave, I was rushed back to the kitchen/ dining area and introduced to what felt like a million other family members. When I asked my older cousin what I was to call everyone, he simply said, "Just say cousin - even I'm not sure what to call them". We stayed for some tea before making the long drive to Shenzhen but needless to say, my head was spinning a little at having met several relatives I didn't know existed before.
三。Shenzhen
I was quickly ushered by my English speaking cousin toward a den at the back of the house where my Great Uncle was gambling with a load of other men. With a quick, "This is Asang's daughter from the UK", a little wave, I was rushed back to the kitchen/ dining area and introduced to what felt like a million other family members. When I asked my older cousin what I was to call everyone, he simply said, "Just say cousin - even I'm not sure what to call them". We stayed for some tea before making the long drive to Shenzhen but needless to say, my head was spinning a little at having met several relatives I didn't know existed before.
三。Shenzhen
In Shenzhen, I spent most of my time with the family of the older cousin who picked me up including his wife and two kids - Daniel aged 10 and Janice aged 8. The more time I spent with my Southern Chinese family, the more Cantonese came flooding back to me. In actuality, I still think my Cantonese is a little better than my Mandarin - but it's still sketchy all the same. One thing I found quite amazing about this side of the family was their ability to switch in and out of Mandarin and Cantonese when they spoke. It's something I'd love to be able to do one day!
Unfortunately, the kids didn't know Cantonese. The Guangzhou Cantonese dialect is also referred to as 白话 (bai hua) and I guess I assumed that most, if not all Southern Chinese people would know it too. Despite living in Southern China, perhaps for this generation of kids, knowing how to speak Mandarin fluently is seen as more important. It did mean communicating with my young second cousins was limited.
"我不懂白话 (I don't understand Cantonese)”, Daniel would tell me any time I tried to talk to him.
Daniel, aged 10, doing some English homework
Although we couldn't actually speak much, I was a massive fan of Daniel. He was so endearingly sweet, often giving me hugs and urging me to play games with him (I let him win at some numbers game I didn't really understand... despite the fact there was an English instruction manual). If I think back to when I was his age, I certainly wouldn't have been so friendly to a complete stranger cousin I didn't know and couldn't even speak with. When the family found out I teach English for a living in China, I was asked to help Daniel with the part of his English homework he found most difficult. He was tasked with writing a sizeable paragraph about his family members. What you can't see in the photo above is that he was writing about his Grandmother who was "fat and like cooking" and his Dad who was "short and like swim”*... Indeed, I was a massive fan of Daniel.
(*Of course, as an English teacher, I did help him correct his grammar)
四。Celebrating New Year
The traditions I have at home and some that people in China observe are slightly different. The whole get together with your family, have a big meal, exchange lucky red envelops, clean your house tradition remains the same. Some other traditions that people in China practise more strictly include buying and wearing completely new clothes to see the New Year in. Having returned back to China with very few clothes, I was very happy to go shopping for some new threads. My older cousin was insistent that he paid for everything, which I felt very grateful for.
Another tradition that I can certainly get on board with is the whole setting off firecrackers and fireworks thing. It's not an exaggeration but China feels like it's in the midst of World War III with the sound of firecrackers and fireworks exploding almost constantly at all times of the day.
Living in London, or in fact the UK in general, I know this kind of thing wouldn't go down well at all. After dinner, we took the kids outside on the main street with a big black bin liner full of assorted fireworks, sparklers and firecrackers. I don't think I've ever actually set off fireworks myself before so the whole thing had me feeling like a big kid. We stayed outside for about two hours just setting off mini fireworks into the neighbourhood. I might be 23 but I still thought it was really great fun. Secretly, I felt real inner joy when I had to light up the fireworks instead of my younger cousins... for safety reasons of course.
Firestarters
五。Happy Valley, Shenzhen
I only spent a few days with my family as I was heading to Guangzhou to meet back up with Beth to celebrate her birthday. On one of my last days, my older cousin and their family decided they must take me "to go play", so we headed to a theme park called Happy Valley.
I haven't been to a theme park since I was about 16, so it was great to be back in one. The only odd thing was that none of the adults we went with actually fancied going on any of the rides, even though they paid the entrance fee. They also decided I must be chaperoned in the queues. You can imagine that the queues in China for anything are always long due to the sheer number of people. I ended up waiting over an hour for one ride, so in a strange way, I admired one of my older cousins for deciding to wait in a queue with me so I wasn't alone despite the fact he wouldn't be riding with me.
Anyway, sure, this year's Chinese New Year was different and great in many ways, I do have to admit I still missed being home with my family, eating the food that my Dad so wonderfully prepares every year, guessing who will be the first to crack and open up the lucky red envelopes to see how much money we were given by our siblings.
Being sent countless photos of the feast and group pictures from my siblings didn't help much either but if there's one thing I know I'm massively grateful for - it's my family, wherever they are in the world.
A New Year's Family Photo (minus Mum)
Left to Right: Peter (little brother), Dad, Nan, Philip (older brother) and Jenny (older sister)
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