Laowai label

In the Chinese language, to refer to a foreigner Chinese people use the term ‘laowai’(老外). This was a term I became quickly familiar with upon arriving in Tianjin. Merely walking around Tianjin with my fellow foreign teacher friends, it was the most noticeable words we picked up on as we passed through crowds of Chinese locals.

According to the definition given by my trusty Pleco app (which has so far saved me in many translation situations), ‘laowai’ refers to a foreigner, especially a non-Asian person. This is perhaps where one of my main struggles in China begins. By definition, I am most certainly a foreigner but, also being Asian means I blur the lines of what a ‘laowai’ traditionally refers to. The conflict between this clash of identities was something I tried to mentally prepare for before coming to China, but the reality of how to deal with it has been different.

Before even boarding my plane to China, I had my first experience of someone assuming I spoke Mandarin because I look Asian. It was the first of many times I would encounter this awkward situation. I continually bewilder Tianjin locals by my inability to communicate in a way that is expected of me because of the way I look. I have to admit, it is both amusing and frustrating.

Take for example my first few lessons of teaching when I introduced myself for the first time. I walked into classroom and was met with rows of confused faces. The majority of my students’ jaws hit the ground when I began speaking in fluent English with a British accent. I often had to pre-empt their questions – “I’m confusing, right? ...Because I look Chinese, but speak fluent English? … Well, yes, my parents are Chinese … but no, I do not speak Mandarin”. Some students had outright told me that I was not what they were expecting from their new foreign language teacher. In fact, they were expecting a blonde (sorry to disappoint, kids!). Situations like this were amusing to me, but then there’s the other side of the coin.

Growing up in multi-cultural society like London, the fact that I look Chinese has never really been something that has been a defining feature for me. But the concept of someone who looks Chinese/ Asian but cannot speak the language is not something that is easy to grasp for Chinese people.

Of course, this presents a major challenge for me here. Locals will insist on speaking to me (or rather at me) in Chinese, despite the fact that I have told them in broken Mandarin that I come from England and that I can only speak English. When I visit places with my western looking friends, locals beeline for me to play translator and unfortunately are met with my awkward laugh as I’m left with no choice but to apologetically shrug and run away.

It has been a struggle and a challenge that I found particularly difficult to deal with when I first arrived. I had to use hand gestures to get across my meaning but luckily, I have also discovered that I know far more Cantonese (the dialect my family speak in but is of no use to me here in Northern China) than I gave myself credit for. I should think I’ll be pretty great at charades when I return to the UK and/ or hopefully will have picked up Mandarin well enough for conversation.

I suppose the good thing about being forced into situations where I must (attempt to) communicate in Chinese because it is what is expected from my appearance is that I have stronger motivation to pick up Mandarin as quickly as possible. The few Chinese lessons I took as a teenager have already proved a good enough basis for me to identify what meat is included in a meal when reading a restaurant menu. Things can only get better from here.

I imagine this constant internal conflict I deal with, being both a ‘laowai’ but non-western looking girl, will be a common theme discussed in this blog. It makes me wonder how others feel when dealing with the same kind of problem. Any Britsh Born Chinese people or (BBC)s out there feel my pain? 

Anyway, I doubt the clash of identities I feel will actually go away whilst I'm here but in any case, the struggle I felt when I first got here has eased up a little. Now that I'm actually taking a few Mandarin classes, I feel more positive about being able to overcome the issue of the laowai label. It just goes to show, language really is the cornerstone of culture and can be the make or break factor as to whether you can integrate into a new one.